On January 1, 2017 I sat on my recliner with my newborn baby staring into his eyes. I wanted to cherish every minute because those newborn days go quickly. I got dressed and I put on my red lipstick, something I rarely do. I that day and I looked in the mirror and said, "I love you, just the way you are." started with those long nights up feeding a newborn and the weird feeling after pregnancy where your body is no longer pregnant but you don't feel like yourself and holding that newborn all I could, because I knew the time would be short.
I didn’t let fear defeat me.
I got to know the voices in my head and am able to discern the truth vs. the lies.
I celebrated eight years of marriage with my husband.
I learned to be happy and support others. I stopped comparing myself and feeling jealous. I stopped yearning for what they had. I stopped trying to fit in. I stopped asking myself what would they think?
I learned to listen to God and be who he wants me to be. To use the gift of photography and writing he gave me and share what he wants me to share.
I learned to love being a stay at home mom a little bit more. I’ve been grateful for being a SAHM as long as I can remember but some days are hard and lonely. It’s hard not to want more. It’s hard to feel like I matter. But I worked this year to remember I matter, to find joy in the monotonous tasks, and to know I am enough the way I am. Nothing will change that.
I am stronger than I thought. The decision to homeschool was not an easy one but I’m happy we are trying it. As crazy as it gets, I cherish the extra time with my daughter.
I learned to stop focusing on who my children will be someday but see them now just as they are right now.
In 2018, I won’t focus on all the ways I don’t measure up. I’m starting the year looking in the mirror again and saying I love you. You are beautiful. You are worthy. You matter.
- I will dance like a fool just a little bit more.
- I’ll embrace who I am, not who I'm supposed to be.
- I’ll continue to monitor my thoughts.
- I’ll use my voice, talk about the hard things and love the people that don’t agree.
- I will fight for me. I will say No when I need to. I won’t let fear drive me.
- I will smile.
- I’ll continue to honor my gifts.
- I’ll remember the gift of life and health and enjoy each day like it’s my last.
In 2018, I hope you look in the mirror and tell yourself you are worthy. I hope you remind yourself that you matter and that your love brings joy to others. I hope you embrace who you are, not who you are supposed to be.
Wishing you the happiest 2018 my friends!
My 2018 inspiration for you. Dance it out my friends.
