It was a cloudy sunrise. It’s been a while since I walked down to the water and saw clouds with no sun in sight. Normally I wouldn’t waste my time walking down there, but I had hopes it was going to be more. As I stood there staring at the water pouring over the dam I thought wow I walked down here at 5am for this? Why isn’t it brighter or more colorful? Why can’t the light break through? Really is this all? I’m so tired. This is going to be a long day. Everyday this week has been long and exhausting and this will probably be another one. And my mind went on and on and on. It would have been easy to walk away in this moment. Continued on with my day never thinking any differently. It could have been a long dark day.
But I stood there and it was like my mind went blank. All those negative thoughts cleared. I realized how beautiful this place is. How special it is to me. Even when it’s a cloudy sunrise where there is no light. I love the sound of the water. It’s so loud it drowns out the sound of the cars driving by and pretty much everything else helping me focus. I noticed the diffused light from the clouds. I could actually get a great picture of the dam and the water pouring down into the stream. I noticed the tree down below starting to bloom and the rushing stream. As I started to walk away feeling appreciative of this place, I looked back once more and saw the light breaking through the clouds. I ran back for one more photo. I felt like it was evidence, the light is there, it can break through the clouds.
Sometimes your life is cloudy maybe even downright hazy. It’s hard to see past the pain or the hurt. It’s hard to be brave and face your fear. It’s hard to enjoy the little moments when darkness is looming over you. I know it, I’ve been there, I am there often. But it’s important to find the light anyway. Don’t let your mind run wild. Don’t listen to those lies you are telling yourself. Yell “stop” if you have to. Find that light, its always there. Always trying to break through. And once you find it, hold onto it and never let it go. Don’t forget it. There will be times of darkness, tragedy, trials, your heart might be broken, but keep your eyes open. Slow down and be patient. Maybe it’s been one thing after another and there is no end in sight, look for the light anyway because it is always trying to break through.
As I am finishing up writing this post I look outside and the sun is shining. Not a cloud in sight. Gratitude fills my spirit. I am grateful for these reminders. It’s easy for me to get stuck, overwhelmed, scared, and ashamed. But its times like this I am grateful for. I hope it helps you today. Be present, be you, and find the light anyways. You are worthy of it all.