• Carrie Usmar

My Motherhood Manifesto of 2016


A few things I have learned, as a mama daring greatly.

(My daughter Celia and I, Photo Credit: Tiffany Axtmann Photography)

Don’t fear change. Go with it.

Don’t fear trying new things, embrace them.

Wear what YOU want and feel most comfortable in.

Don’t talk about your body negatively, especially not in front of your kids.

Be conscious of how you look at yourself in the mirror, little ones are always watching.

Gratitude, Gratitude, Gratitude….

When you are feeling down, or having one of those overwhelming mom moments, its okay to take a minute and hide in the closet. Pray. Or call or text a friend and ask them to get together.

Focus on progress, not perfection. NO ONE is perfect. You may think that, but beneath the surface we all are broken. Always focus on your progress. If you focus on the negative and the things you can’t do, you can’t see how far you’ve come.

I am enough. Just as I am. I accept my imperfections and scars. They are a part of me.

What I do is my best. I’ve gotten rid of the shoulds and shouldn’ts and inserted, “I did my best and maybe next time I’ll try it this way…..”

And lastly. . I CAN.

I spent most of my life settling for easy. I was afraid to go out of my comfort zone. I told myself so very often, I can’t do that (insert dream), or I could never (try that new crazy scary thing). But I’m done living afraid. I can, and I will.

I’ve enjoyed taking the time today to reflect on my life as a mom. I am by no means perfect. I often forget this stuff and get a little lost. Some of my days, weeks, can be difficult. I am constantly tested, and questioning myself and my actions as a parent. I know we all just want to be doing our best and it’s scary with what we have to face today. But I’m grateful, I always am able to climb back up when I’ve fallen and am reminded God loves me, brokenness and all. He gives me the strength I didn’t think I had, and the power to face some of my biggest fears.

To all the mamas, non-mamas, mamas with angels in heaven, and friends who have lost their mamas. This day may have been one of the most difficult days for you. It brings up pain, memories, and the feeling of loss. For some it’s a day they would rather forget altogether. Please know you are not alone.

Personally, this day used to make me feel bad. I used to feel like it was a day where I compare myself to every other mom, and how I just don’t measure up. There are times I’m on my phone a lot, I forget paperwork for school, I stink at organizing play-dates, we don’t go enough places, I’m not as active as other moms or I just don’t do that mom stuff. Like making really cool things from pinterest, ok.. maybe I would and most moms probably buy them ha. But I used to just feel like I wasn’t enough. I wasn’t good enough to be their mom. And I catch myself sometimes saying I just don’t want them to be like me, when I am their biggest influence. So its time to stand up and shout, I am enough. I am worthy of love and belonging. My kids love me for me. Stop comparing. We are all broken. Fight the shame. Talk about it. Talk about the things you are ashamed of. If there is one way to fight shame, its being vulnerable enough to share that you are not perfect and you need help sometimes. You will find so many are just like you and you may bring someone else comfort to know they are not alone.

Happy Mothers Day xoxo

#Parenting #Shame #Insecurities

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