• Carrie Usmar

For The Perfectionist Out There


Today I would like to talk about food photos. Man, I love them. Often they are pretty incredible and make the food just look mouthwatering. My only problem is I forget to take them. Or when I remember the food is all gone. I am always to eager to eat and rushing. So I decided half eaten food photos are awesome.

My half eaten lunch. Salad with Quinoa crusted chicken and Bolthouse Farms Ranch dressing

The remnants of quinoa crusted chicken parmesan

If you are constantly seeking perfection you will always lose. I only recently realized how much of a perfectionist I truly am and how important it was to me in my life. Or I guess I never noticed how my actions and thoughts were always geared toward perfection. If I took some photos and they weren't what I had envisioned and technically had issues, then the whole shoot was a waste in my mind. I constantly degrade my photography because I tell myself my clients don't like my photos and they aren't good enough. I say no to new adventures, ideas, or dreams in fear because I can't control the outcome. I have been rude and ungrateful when someone has done something nice for me but not in the way I wanted it done, such as the laundry. I am often critical without even thinking..... like when my husband does an errand for me and forgets something. Somewhere in my life I lost who I am and started being what everyone wanted me to be, constantly focusing on what everyone will think if I wear this or do that. I couldn't make decisions in fear of others approval, because my own ideas weren't good enough.

These are all traits of a perfectionist and it can tear you apart. It can rip those joyful moments from you and blur your vision to see only the negatives. The attempt to obtain perfection can hold you back from living life and cause you to be unseen. And there is so much shaming done in the process. I should have done this, I can't do that, I'm dumb and I'll always be dumb. The reality of the darkness I have been in, almost brings me to tears. But the most wonderful thing is God is showing me I am enough. My thoughts are enough. My body is enough. My work is enough. I am beginning to embrace the cracks in my life. All the things I always saw negatively, I am accepting. I will always be tall, have no boobs, birthing hips, endless stretch marks and zits on my face and I don't always do a good job taking care of my kids and we don't always eat well or organic, I am a space cadet and totally unorganized but all of that is reality and I am embracing it. That is me, the wonderful way I was made and I am so grateful to God. I will never be perfect and realizing that is awesome. I feel a weight lifted from my soul, but still need reminding daily to break free from these habits.

So join me in sharing your half eaten food photos.. Join me on my journey of learning to live wholeheartedly. Join me in being REAL.

#Perfectionist

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