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April 3, 2018

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WHO AM I ?

Hello! My name is Carrie Usmar. I married a Brit. We have three children. We moved from the suburbs to the country. I am not a country girl but God has a way of teaching me about the country life. 

 

 I have depression, it never goes away and still hits me hard sometimes. I like to write about it, share my stories and hopefully help people to know they are not alone.

 

I've always been a freak. But I buried that part of me for a long time. Thankfully I learned I love Carrie Usmar, freakness and all.

 

I love to dance and lip sync and share my ridiculous videos in my instagram stories. 

 

I am imperfect, broken, and proud, and I'm taking it one day at a time. Thank you for being here with me.   

April 17, 2018

New growth is an important part of life, growth gives us those lessons we can share and inspire others with. Growth gives us the pieces to the puzzle of life we need in order to survive the next winter.

April 3, 2018

I looked down at my tea cup and it said Best Wife Ever. And I thought to myself wait a minute, your mind has gone in a spiral. You went from yelling at the kids, which happens sometimes to throwing yourself under a bus. Beating yourself up. Saying things to yourself you would never say to anyone out...

March 15, 2018

Getting stuck and in a funk is hard. I hate it. I hate the way I treat others, I hate the way I isolate myself, I hate the person I am when depression rears its ugly head. But the beauty is in there somewhere. The peace is in there somewhere. The love is always there. I have to let all that water f...

January 30, 2018

My story of overcoming the shame from sexual assault and addiction. How to understand what the voice of shame is and 5 tips to overcome shame.

December 25, 2017

But if I focus on all that we didn’t do this year, I am missing what we have done. I am missing those moments of joy that are happening right before my eyes. I am missing time being present with the family. I forget about the other traditions we have, the ones that aren’t on this list. I end up want...

December 4, 2017

My mind said, you don’t have a proper headshot, or why would anyone want to read what you have to say. I envisioned the rejection email saying, please work on your grammar or find an editor.  My writing is not fancy, it’s not full of symbols, or big words, in fact, I love a good run on sentence, an...

November 10, 2017

It’s been a while since I've shared. I've realized my truth comes out in my words. But I have not been sure what to say.

After a lot of thought, I realized that fear anchored me. I felt dumb for letting fear have its way with me again. I know the good thoughts to tell myself, the lies aren’t tru...

August 21, 2017

My experience reminded me not to assume anything about a person by looking at their photos. There is always more to their story.

July 15, 2017

I have bouts of depression. It pains me to admit that, I don’t want to believe it. But I have the kind of depression that doesn’t go away. Sometimes I plead with God why? There are periods of time I think it’s gone, life feels anchored, I am doing all the things I need to do to stay anchored. But ev...

July 10, 2017

We had a lot to prepare before hosting a party. My mind kept jumping from one thing to the next, leaving me agitated. I worked so hard weeding flowerbeds I hadn’t gotten to in years and I wanted to put some mulch down. Life with kids is crazy, its hard to finish what you start, but I was determined...

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