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April 3, 2018

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Hello! My name is Carrie Usmar. I married a Brit. We have three children. We moved from the suburbs to the country. I am not a country girl but God has a way of teaching me about the country life. 


 I have depression, it never goes away and still hits me hard sometimes. I like to write about it, share my stories and hopefully help people to know they are not alone.


I've always been a freak. But I buried that part of me for a long time. Thankfully I learned I love Carrie Usmar, freakness and all.


I love to dance and lip sync and share my ridiculous videos in my instagram stories. 


I am imperfect, broken, and proud, and I'm taking it one day at a time. Thank you for being here with me.   

March 15, 2018

Getting stuck and in a funk is hard. I hate it. I hate the way I treat others, I hate the way I isolate myself, I hate the person I am when depression rears its ugly head. But the beauty is in there somewhere. The peace is in there somewhere. The love is always there. I have to let all that water f...

June 15, 2017

I really am blessed. All this pain and hurt and darkness I battle on a daily basis is a blessing because it brings me closer to him. I need him. I need his peace. I can’t do life alone. I tried for so long, never feeling full, never feeling the light. I tried not to feel, I tried not to see, I tried...

May 1, 2017

You’re probably wondering what is so special about this road. It’s just another picture of a road. Well it’s special to me. Firstly, I thought it would be a “normal” paved road. On google maps it looked like a regular cut through to 165, and I think I know where 165 is and how I could get home from...

February 16, 2016


Why did I never have time to pray? I'm always too busy… I don’t know what to pray about. I don’t have anything to ask for? I'm doing good right now. Or I just feel like I can’t talk to God because I'm selfish and judgemental and just mean sometimes… One common theme about those questions, its all a...

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