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April 3, 2018

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WHO AM I ?

Hello! My name is Carrie Usmar. I married a Brit. We have three children. We moved from the suburbs to the country. I am not a country girl but God has a way of teaching me about the country life. 

 

 I have depression, it never goes away and still hits me hard sometimes. I like to write about it, share my stories and hopefully help people to know they are not alone.

 

I've always been a freak. But I buried that part of me for a long time. Thankfully I learned I love Carrie Usmar, freakness and all.

 

I love to dance and lip sync and share my ridiculous videos in my instagram stories. 

 

I am imperfect, broken, and proud, and I'm taking it one day at a time. Thank you for being here with me.   

April 17, 2018

New growth is an important part of life, growth gives us those lessons we can share and inspire others with. Growth gives us the pieces to the puzzle of life we need in order to survive the next winter.

April 3, 2018

 When my son turned four I decided to write him a letter. As I wrote it I realized so many of the hard moments I struggle with have made me stronger. The whole essay is published on Kindred Mom. 

I love you.

Even when you test boundaries. Even when you tell me no or refuse to do what I ask. Even when...

March 15, 2018

Getting stuck and in a funk is hard. I hate it. I hate the way I treat others, I hate the way I isolate myself, I hate the person I am when depression rears its ugly head. But the beauty is in there somewhere. The peace is in there somewhere. The love is always there. I have to let all that water f...

January 23, 2018

Motherhood can be difficult. My daughter has an adventurous spirit and loves to climb. She fell at the playground and couldn't jump like the older kids could. I share how I cultivate resilience in her and teach her that it's okay to fall.

December 17, 2017

Immediately I told myself NO, I’m not small, I matter. I make a difference, even when I am doing my monotonous tasks, feeding kids and wiping bums day in and day out, I am raising the next generation. Even if only two people are reading this, if it helps one, then I made an impact.  I thought about...

December 4, 2017

My mind said, you don’t have a proper headshot, or why would anyone want to read what you have to say. I envisioned the rejection email saying, please work on your grammar or find an editor.  My writing is not fancy, it’s not full of symbols, or big words, in fact, I love a good run on sentence, an...

November 10, 2017

It’s been a while since I've shared. I've realized my truth comes out in my words. But I have not been sure what to say.

After a lot of thought, I realized that fear anchored me. I felt dumb for letting fear have its way with me again. I know the good thoughts to tell myself, the lies aren’t tru...

July 9, 2017

I have trouble getting rid of everything. I've read books about letting things go, thanking them for their service or the joy they brought me and saying goodbye but I just thank them for their service and say I might need you sometime again and quickly put them back. I also avoid messy overwhelming...

June 21, 2017

Some days I feel like giving up, screaming why, and ignoring the truth. I had deep roots that were uncovered in a storm. I tried to forget them over the years and coped in other ways. I didn’t realize they were causing harm and effecting the roots that feed me life, anchor me, and keep me strong. I...

June 13, 2017

Why is asking for help so hard? Why is receiving help hard? Why does it feel scary? I often think of my three year old. He doesn't ever want help and if you try to help him he will scream in your face, "I do it myself." He says it with such spirit and certainty. But when he ends up needing help beca...

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